ThE 1st ConCeRT...hOrrOR!!

the first concert of AF6 held last nite....i duno but it seemed to be a bit boring...the 14 students seemed to be weak n dunola....mmg monssss....it wasnt as grand as it shd be, i guess...so lets hv a short recap on last nite performances....

• mama rina did quite good i think for her song....i kinda like her style...hehe
• then came alif, lufya, naim, faisal n yana who didnt perform quite well....tang wateva jakla...
• ika who changed her song did sth silly, i shd say....her nasal was very clear n i wish to say that "DO YOU THINK YOU R BEAUTIFUL??"....
• stanly was a bit controlled but i think he delivered very well in terms of his emotion...gud job SARAWAK bah!!!!
• saida was damn nervous (duno what happened to her last nite)...plizz la, i wonder how siti's strength can be found in saida....what a stupid statement is that???
• toi was very slumber and lucu at the same time...hehe
• stacy was ok...her vocal was not bad but very the alicia keys la dek....
• riz, though u did gud....i dun like ur attitude...very da miss konfid la u...u sang well but dun be over confident....no wonderla equal starz sik menang dolok...haha...
• nadia was quite nice n friendly, i think but her voice was very loud....sakit n bingit my ears...haha....but she was fine compared to ika yg ntah apa2 jela...
• lastly, nubhan....i lov ehis gemersik voice....very da very...like what sap said last nite (very da like ***)....i didnt realize at first..then only when sap taxed me, i awared of that....so ill support nubhan la....haha....
• the menuju puncak was not excellent...i think my class menuju puncak was far better...haha...really what...thats the truth....hehe
• elimination, i think it shd be ika rather than yana....but its all abt voting rite????
• in conclusion, the first concert was a bit dissappointing to me....hope they will perform better next week.....

-ill support nubhan la, tp i wont vote him-

StAtuS cAn aFFeCt...

stimes i think that status can affect a rship...dun u think so???thats y i choose I HAVE NOTHING as my theme song for the moment...duno y but i start to think that status might affect a rship...so sedey kan???tp thats mcm dah jd reality nowadays...status is quite important for a rship....is that true???i think so....

not in the mood to continue typing this entry...feel very lazy...will post new entry once ive got the mood....

-im x a pm's child-

I HaVe NoTHinG!!!!

I HAVE NOTHING (WHITNEY HOUSTON)

Share my life, take me for what I am

Cause I'll never change all my colours for you

Take my love, I'll never ask for too much

Just all that you are and everything that you do

I don't really need to look very much further

I don't want to have to go where you don't follow

I won't hold it back again, this passion inside

Can't run from myself

There's nowhere to hide

(Your love I'll remember forever)

Don't make me close one more door

I don't wanna hurt anymore

Stay in my arms if you dare

Or must I imagine you there

Don't walk away from me...

I have nothing, nothing, nothing

If I don't have you, you, you, you.

You see through, right to the heart of me

You break down my walls with the strength of you love

I never knew love like I've known it with you

Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to

will post special entry related to this song later...

-i hv nothing-

u iNsPiRe mE!!!!

i got inspired by sum1 just now...that person advised me not to be afraid of making mistakes...if possible, make as many mistakes as i can....coz only then will we learn...somehow, its quite true of what he/she said...its true that some ppl will learn tru mistakes....that person oso advised me to take up on any opportunity or challenge in front of me...dun be afraid in making mistakes and facing challenges....he/she oso told me to do well in my studies coz opportunity is not the same like in his/her time.....he/she had to work hard in order to get the education....he/she had to starve (just eat once in day) for survival....i was really touched upon hearing that...how grateful i am today....how blessed my life is now....but y i keep on complaining and being dissatisfied....i wonder...im glad that he/she has advised me....that person's advice will remain n i thank for that..he/she even said dun say that ill try but i must do it....i really thank him/her for that.....hope ill get the strength to face all the challenges that come upon...thank once again BRO/SIS.......

-im inspired-

WhaT PaSt iS PaSt!!!

maybe people will start to wonder what do i mean by the past???well ive tried to find the gut to write down this special entry....only today i found it...Thank God for that!!!i had the intention to post this entry before but duno y i didnt do so..maybe the rite time hasnt come yet....

• this entry is dedicated to someone that used to fill the light in my life....i know its kinda bold to reveal the truth but somehow i jt want to release the feelings that i used to have n might still in me now....that person used to be someone that is damn close to me...maybe u guys can easily guess who the used to be my close fren is....
• that person has once become part of my life...maybe its too annoying to say that im x sure what makes us that close....till now, i cant figure it out yet....even a fren of me used to ask what makes ur rship wif that person so special???im x sure but maybe we trusted each other....
• we used to share so many things in common....first, we r from the same ethnicity....isnt that nice but we dun talk to each other in that language....what a horror kan???hehe....second, we hv sth in common that we dun eat green peas...i duno now...coz its been quite a long time that we dun eat together...almost 2 year i think....huhu :(
• third, that person used to share his personal problems wif me n so do i....it seems like we hv a connection and chemistry in sharing things...it was nice i think...duno y at that time i seemed to be like a counsellor to that person...
• well maybe not many ppl know abt our closeness (is there such a word)....we got to be very damn close in early 2006 i think....we went to revise together n it was fun indeed...at that time, i really trusted him as my close fren...even after our exam, i often came to visit him as he was at sumwhere for sum training....that sounds pathetic (duno is this a correct adjective)....after the training, we will go out n things were very nice at that time...
• during holiday, we would be on the phone and he will complain that i talk too much (he wasnt complaint actually)....haha....it was very sweet at that time...that person was the one who introduced to me where to dload songs when i first got my internet service...tq dude for that!!!!i really appreciate that....
• that was all in the past..now things have changed...we r no longer like what we used to be...it has been abt 2 yrs i think that we become like this....hehe....though we had conversation about this, i just wanna keep it deep inside my heart..what past is past....
• lately, too many incidents have happened...i dun wanna to be triggered wif all the memories i have wif that person...let it just remains between us....today, i hv scolded that person by saying that the past is past....then that person replied saying that u used to do that....i just dun wanna think abt it....just hope that ill face life wif strength n guts..
• i know that person is no longer the same person i used to know...maybe that person thinks it for his/her own gud....let him/her be....to me, what past is past
• i cant live wif memories coz it wont give anything...it will remain memories no matter how much u want it to be....
• i duno what to say now....got stucked n wanna rest...huahuahua....
• i jt wanna say to that person, THANKS for INTRUDING in my life....u have created a HISTORY in my life...but still WHAT PAST IS PAST!!!!

i know u r a gud fren but stimes we need to change....maybe ur changes really mean sth for u...ill pray for u in ur life...thanks once again for menjelmakan diri in my life though just for a while....i appreciate that n for the moments we share in the past...

-i used to have a close fren-

iM a BiOniC!!!!

today, ive got all sorts of emotions....i can say that my day is a mixture of happiness, sadness, nervous, fear n many more...duno y but i jt dun like this...early in the morning, i had my day like normal...nth much spesel....presented our idea of poster at mdm so n eth was fine la i guess...hehe....then i was suprised when walter told me that cik kirar has approached me, walter n dewi to join the BAHAS competition at UNIMAS this coming april....i was very hepi coz i hv been waiting for that opportunity for so long....what a suprise!!!!my day changed n i just cant wait for the confirmation of the competition...hehe....then went out for lunch wif sap, dewi, nana n zack....i could say that i became bionic ppl today as i was very busy the whole afternoon....after lunch, we went to rumah sarawak due to something for our hubungan etnik assign....got the info...yihooo!!!!then went back to maktab n i didnt have my seat at all...i went to library to complete my assignment but didnt complete it...then went to see kak **** n then went to see julian n ain....nangla bionik asa idup ari tok....once im done wif julian n ain, went to see HAJJAH SALINA who was sitiing alone at the bench....we chatted for some time n he was singing without shame...besala HAJJAH kan????monssss bah...haha....then before i went back home, dropped by at cikgu jaha's home to send the cauldron to be printed...haha...rasa best jak coz finally dh ahnd in dgn cikgu jaha...haha...what a relief!!!!hopefully he approves it!!!!after that, my journey has x ended yet....went to nana's house to collect books for our research (rasa polah PHD jak)...haha...nang asa bionik jak ari tok....byk li keja nak polah n once i reached home, settled everything then only i started doing my stuff....completing our research n can be said that it's done...haha....leganya!!!!but then to the extent of my suprise, i saw zack's shoutout saying that mr dana's quiz is tomoro....mmg la tkejut aku bagai nak gila...haha...didnt know ath coz my hp was switched off that time...i switched it on n the msg received....mmg durj quiz ya...saje je nak buat i tercekik....i didnt expect it to happen like that but what to do....sabo jela....have to study la nampaknya....

• on top of that, i was a bit frustrated wif sumone....it has happened few times but i just let it go....n so does that person....blh nya marah due to sth la (cant be said here)....its x that i want to berungkit but i was just playing ard...cant that person understand me???the real me???it makes me think if that person really knows me that well???if he/she does, this wouldnt happen....y must get angry if its wrong....im x in the mood of thinking about it but stimes it just hurts...mlas nak pk n malas nak ringo....jt wonder y this happens....lazy la to think....up to u la....im jt playing ard....if u cant accept it, then i cant do anything....ill just say sorry....maybe we dun share schemata....sori once again if i hurt ur feelings....bubbyee!!

so now, ill hv to start reading on the quiz..malasnya aku....hope eth runs smoothly tomoro...malas nak burdenkan otak tok....huahuahua....

- im a bionic person-

KeTeNtUaN....

KETENTUAN (RAMLAH RAM)

Tak semudah kau sangka

Melepaskan kau pergi

Hati yang meronta,

Hampa kecewaku

Tekad sembunyikannya dari pandanganmu

Aku rela begini

Berakhirnya di sini

Dari bersamamu terus berpura

Setelah cinta tiada lagi di hatimu

Ku hapuskan airmata dari mengiringi

Kesengsaraan mengharung perpisahan ini

Ku pujuk jiwa nestapa

Pendamkanlah duka

Pasrah pada lara ketentuan ini

Tak semudah kau rasa

Melepaskan kau pergi

Hati yang terluka dikunjung jua

Kerinduan yang tidak tertanggung terhadapmu

Sesungguhnya

Ku tahu betapa sukar untukku

Menempuh hidup

Walau sehari tanpamu

Ku terseksa

this song is my current theme song...im not sure y but what i can say is that i keep on thinking about something that fills my mind...im x sure if i shd have just thought of it or not...what im sure is that i have felt n thought over this matter about two or three days ago n actually it has some connection wif my life (emphasizing on my PAST)...im x sure if its right to think about it..i know its wrong to feel and think like that but i just cant avoid it...memories trigger my mind and i know that we cant live with memories only coz we have to face the reality....the reality which IT HAS GONE!!!! maybe im wrong being stupid to think about it...maybe ppl will laugh at me if they know what im thinking now...its just a small matter but it means a lot to me...it is MY PAST n suddenly, i keep being haunted by that HISTORY....am i wrong that i have to be haunted by that memory???have i done something unpleasant or silly???i just cant let that feelings go...i duno what to say now...im x sure if i want to talk about it now..maybe its not the right time yet....so ill just keep it to myself first...ill post an entry for that...maybe the next entry....so its time for us to guess it...huhu... :(

-the song conveys the best about my feelings n condition-

i NeeD to aDaPt tO ChaNgeS!!!

• its very weird and amazing that we can simply think in a negative way....why cant we just think of sth in a positive way???i wonder actually y do i n the rest of us (which is HUMAN) tend to sometimes judge wrongly???arent we wise enough to have a wise thought and decide wisely???
• i oso start to wonder how my life in ukm later on will be???i keep on thinking the same thing for 2 consecutive times, when i take my bath....y shd my bath time become the time setting???sounds very stupid la to think over the matter...but somehow, wif my current situation, i just think that to be prepared is a very intelligent and brilliant thing to do....im not sure what will i face in ukm....will i be like what i am now???will i long for help???will i be somebody else???will i give up wif my own life???i just duno what....
• at this particular moment, im just missing all the good days where i have experienced in the past....y cant i just celebrate it again???y cant i just feel it again???y cant i just be like what i used to be???i just duno what to answer....maybe its time to change...
• too many changes have taken place now....too many new situations i have to adapt to...to many things i have to get used to.....n too many things that get me confused n start my thinking process...y must all these happen???y cant things be like normal???but who am i to complaint???everything has been decided by God...He knows better than any of us....maybe this is for betterment....
• ive just talked to one of my fren that maybe i shd learn to be independent....maybe all this while ive been too pampered thats y i cant get used to changes...maybe its time for a new situation to take place....maybe its time for me to adapt to the new environment....maybe its the moment where i have to be all by myself....my inquiry is just whether im strong enuf to shoulder all this....that fren of mine said that i can adapt to all this...but how strong will i be???how strong can ASHAIRI be????maybe i used to be that strong but now, it seems that my strength has disappeared to nowhere....so strange n unbelievable!!!!
• i just hope that i can face all this with the guts that i have!!!!God, plizz help me!!!!

-im x strong enuf now-

KiM, SweeT 22!!!!

its KIM's bday today....to Kim, jt wanna say HEPI BIRTHDAY to u n have a wonderful n amazing year ahead ya!!! gudluck in everything n dun sad sad ya....so hv fun gurl!!!! hepi bday!!!!!

HePi BeLatEd BdaY SaPRi!!!

yesterday was sapri's bday n we went out to celebrate it...just 5 of us n i think that's the best way of celebrating it...i oso duno y i think so....lazy to think la...so i want to say HEPI BELATED BDAY TO SAPRI......hv a gud n prosperous year....x interested in saying anything coz i have written it in d card ya!!!!so HEPI BELATED BDAY once again....

i MeT a NeW BrOtHeR!!!

• God has all the amazing plans in our life....God has fated me to meet new people and build new frenship wif sum1 that i never thought will be my fren....let me just make it short yet simple k....i have met one God's creature recently....let me just be honest....he's younger than me and when i typed his, it means that person is a guy k!!!!huahuahua....
• this person is very different in terms of his personality....he is very funny and i could say that he is kind of God's creature that woud make us smile all the way....he can understand me though he is younger and we share quite a number of similarities....so its quite kewl babe!!haha....im impressed wif the way he talks and voices out his opinion....he doesnt seem to be like a young person....to me he is just a matured young brother la....im being honest in this....he appears to be like sum1 that can be dependent on....i just like the way he is...
• ok, maybe its too early to jump to a conclusion..i know n i think my early conclusion will be....IF HE CONTINUES TO BE LIKE WHAT HE IS NOW, HE WILL MAKE PPL PROUD OF HIM......i hope that he will keep this attitude n to those who r searching for a bf, i would recommend him....haha.....

-i wonder y younger ppl can mature that fast-

mEmORieS of JPP...

as i hv promised in my last post, this is a special entry which i consider as a tribute to the JPP....haha...so this is a special entry to the JPP.....

• i was actually stood for the PENGERUSI BIRO WARISAN DAN BUDAYA at first, against azizi n carol....it was a tough competition i could say n i didnt think that ill win...haha
• then when the result was announced, i was put under BIRO PENERBITAN DAN PERHUBUNGAN, which meant that ill handle the bulletins and so forth n the most important part was ill be working together wif CIKGU JAHA....nvr had i imagined that would happen....so ill jt be positive....wachaa!!!!
• so we worked hard for our first buletin....it was launched during the IPBL convo, in April....kinda nebes but it was amazing coz i didnt expect that ill be publishing buletin....what a funny moment was that!!!
• then i wasnt in charge for the next 2 bulletins coz i was doing my ROS, but i helped in giving ideas n reports...
• when i came back for my 3rd sem degree, i was in charge for 5 consecutive editions of MINGGU PENGURUSAN....we were running like hell at that time...we started working in the afternun, around 3pm and completed everything at 9pm....amazing la rsnya!!!im proud to hv dewi, walter, sapri n zack helping me wif all the 5 issues....sori guys for kinda torturing u all....but we did great job huh!!!!
• then all the jpps went to kl n i was grateful for that wonderful moment...i got the opportunity meeting bg hakim n kinda went for a vacation....tq jpp for that....
• after that, i n my ajks (excluding J) published buletins for puasa, raya n b4 the year end holiday started...it was wonderful moment to work wif them, except for J coz she didnt do anything...
• i learnt a lot from JPP especially in publishing bulletins n so forth..the process that takes into account in publishing bulletins n others...fotostating process...all that taught me how to deal wif ppl n how to be patient....though they are bitter, ill never forget the experience...
• then when 2008 came in, i was in charge wif the Minggu Pengurusan again n this time around, i worked wif totally a new team...i didnt know what to expect n i just hoped for the best...so far, it was fine to work wif them though i was supposed to handle 9 ajks but unfortunately, it turned to be only about 4 or 5 of them got involved n the rest duno what happened....but it was fine working wif them..i saw new spirit n aims...
• after that, i published the last buletin for chinese new year n the last one for my session...so sad la....huhu....
• till now, though the last session of jpp has been terminated, i still have one more hutang....which is CAUDLRON...its on the process n waiting to be printed....eth has finished n im quite satisfied with the current progress....hopefully eth goes smooth...hehe...
• so a year wif jpp has taught me a lot....i will definitely miss them n i would like to express my thank you to all people involve in JPP 07/08....
• thanks to my ajks.....dewi, walter, sapri, nana, zack, umi n ching hung in helping me with the majalah n oso buletins.....hopefully the new chairman will lead this bureau to the betterment....

-im gonna miss photostate machine-

i MiSS SumOne....

i missing someone rite now...duno y but this feelings "ATTACK" me lately...im missing someone n i duno how to say about it...i just can say that i miss that person damn much.....we used to be damn closed n i duno what happened...but i redha je dgn eth that happens....im sure it is meant for sth gud....but what im so sure now is i miss that person....currently, to heal my suffer, i listen to 2 songs which are my theme songs for d moment...one song is sung by SITI NURHALIZA 'MELAWAN KESEPIAN' and another one i think it will be a dedication from that person to me 'AKU BUKAN UNTUKMU".....sori if im being damn jiwang but i just cant let this feelings go....i miss u...will post special entry bout that person later....

'AKU BUKAN UNTUKMU'

Dahulu kau mencintaiku

Dahulu kau menginginkanku

Meskipun tak pernah ada jawabku

Tak berniat kau tinggalkan aku

Sekarang kau pergi menjauh

Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku

Disaat ku mulai mengharapkanmu

Dan kumohon maafkan aku

Aku menyesal tlah membuatmu menangis

Dan biarkan memilih yang lain

Tapi jangan pernah kau dustai takdirmu

Pasti itu terbaik untukmu

Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali

Aku bukanlah untukmu

Meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu

Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya

Untuk diriku

'MELAWAN KESEPIAN'

Apa pun yang terjadi

Berjalanlah tanpa henti

Airmata tertahan

Waktu untuk dijatuhkan

Nanti kita kan tahu

Betapa bijaknya hidup

Sepahit apa pun ini

Pelajaran yang bererti

Semoga kepergianku

tak akan merubah apa pun

semoga mampu ku lawan kesepian ku….

nanti kan tahu

betapa bijaknya hidup

sepahit apa pun ini

pelajaran yang bererti

Semoga kepergianku

tak akan merubah apa pun

semoga mampu ku lawan kesepian ku….

Apa pun yang terjadi

Berjalanlah tanpa henti

enjoy da 2 songs ya!!!

-i miss u babe-

2 WeeKs oF SiLenCe...

• ya Allah, it has been about 2 weeks since i last posted my entry here...i really want to share my thought but i just didnt hv much time few days ago...too many things happened n i had to cope with them....luckily im quite relaxed now though ive got few things to be settled up actually like my assignments n so on....but i hv made promise that i have to post new entry tonite....so kesian CERITA HATI kan????
• ok, let me start off by reflecting on what has happened in that particular 2 weeks...our class started organizing sports events for our pj subject...like what i had told earlier, our grup organised futsal....i was around during all the events except volleyball due to certain condition...i can say that ill surely win the most supportive classmates if there's an award for it....nah, jt joking....i jt had fun in every games...nang rasa best jak...but so far, i salute cohort 3 for being able to organise such games n yet im proud of us...i think other classes are jealous of us...who knowsla kan????btw, i hate one grup which think highly of themselves...they think they r the best but unfortunately they r x...jt be over confident n see what they get in return...nothing but shame!!!!haha....puas hati aku!!!!sapa suruh perangey over kdk sial jak.....get lost la n berambus!!!boleh blah!!!
• done wif the games....for ur grup, im proud of our organizing commitee...we did put effort n i think that we had done our very best for the tournament....kinda proud of my grup members la....hehe....thanks to everyone who helped us during the tournament n to all my classmates who were there, thanks guys for ur support!!!!though the first nite of the tournament was kinda putting stress on me coz the next day i had mdm tan's quiz (which i scored 5 over 15 n i deserved it)....i know its dissappointing but i think its my fault too....i hope that ill score better in the next quiz....enuf with the tournament ya!!
• then it came in wif nana's bday...hepi belated bday gurl!!!!we (safa, zack, dewi n sap) prepared a suprise party for her though it wasnt as grand as a bday part shd be....but i think we had fun that afternun.....sori coz i had to lie by saying that its only between me, safa n u for that lunch....but our intention was jt to suprise u....btw, hepi belated bday nana n hope ull get all the hepiness in ur life!!!sori for any inconvenience....
• last week was a buzy week for me....it was the final week for me as the naib pengerusi exco penerbitan dan perhubungan JPP....i gained a lot of experience (will post special entry for jpp later) in JPP...last week was the penamaan calon n i had been very busy goin here n there helping with the pencalonan n kiraan undi n distributing the voting papers n so on....i was helping julian n ain coz they hv gone for d tunas samudera..pity them coz they have to replace some other students but i now they are strong...chaiyok babe!!!so i have to help them counting all the votes and also keep the final decision..its wif me now!!!haha....but will keep it as secret coz i kan ala2 pemegang amanah majlis raja-raja...am i qualified for that post????im wondering.....
• after busy wif the election, i got another thing to settle n it was TESL GALA NITE 08.. held at Golf Club, we had fun n i could say that we managed to organise a superb nite...it was fun n i could say that i enjoyed a lot that nite...though i had to settle the games just that dy in the afternun n finalised everything, i was hepi coz it was done smoothly....i was oso hepi coz my baju was done a day before...so i wore that baju which was inspired by ning's husband...using the theme of KERATON JAVANESE fashion, i could say that im satisfied with my outfit that nite...can be said that i suited the theme la....took pictures and enjoyed a lot though it was raining heavily that nite....want to post some pictures here but laterla if know how to do so (malu la pulak nak ngaku etol)..
• apart from having fun, i was experiencing a bad moment last week...a day b4 the gala nite, we had a short session wif the UKM ppl...before it started, i had one painful experience (benaka phrase tok, mcm salah jak)...i slipped on the floor coz i was running in the classroom ( i wont step that classroom anymore)...as the result, i got terseliuh(duno the term in english)....it was very painful at first and i tried to stand the pain...at first, it was ok la but soon in the evening, it got swallowen n i wanted to cry but i tried my very best to stand the pain....though cant move much, i still drove to take my clothes for the gala nite....nangla rasa kuat jak...haha...it was painful n now i understand how pain it is when u hurt ur legs n so on....i felt very hard to move around n wanted to cry but maybe im trying too much to stand the pain....
• that evening, i was in charge for the aerobic competition as the mc together wif deal...i felt pity to them coz i had to trouble them....sori deal ho!!!!at first i didnt apply any ointment n only at TAZA, sap helped masaging my foot...i wanted to shout when he massaged the most painful part n wanted to cry as well...guess what did i do that evening???despite my painful foot, i danced for the performance as i have promised z's grup...for me, i shd hv fought the pain n never let the pain controls me...thats y i took the decision to dance that nite coz we had practised n i wont miss the moment jt boz of my foot...so i jt danced but x actively as what i owes did....huhu...so sad but what can i do????so that nite i had to walk slowly n drag my feet n i think it looked ugly but i dun hv any choice....im sori deal n ur grup if i didnt perform gud that nite... i tried my best ya!!!hehe....btw, congrats to ur grup!!!
• the next morning, i went to see the doctor n she gave me some medicine n she used a machine that i duno what was it all about to my foot....very funny indeed but i dun want to comment a lot on it....hehe....then went to india street to buy things despite kaki sakit...nangla rasa power ranger jak....haha...
• OIAM2 has ended...and like what i hv expected, AYU won it...congrats AYU!!!
• need to go first n ill update my blog again...tq for being so patient all this while (rasa mcm ada org tunggu jak blog aku)....
• do pray so that my foot can recover quickly n i can walk like normal again soon...tq guys!!!love everyone.....

-im silent for 2 weeks-